Summertime

Is anybody else as excited about High School Musical 2 as me?
I doubt it. But seriously, it's Wednesday today and on Friday I break up for the summer. I have a feeling its going to be a boring summer. For the first week of the summer holidays I have work experience at the Welsh Assembly Government in Cardiff. This is vital for me if I hope to get in to Oxford. The rest? Well I'm going to Prague for a week with my mum and dad. Um... August the 16th I get my results! Oh god. Um another week in august I'm helping out at the Holiday Club in my local church.
Other than that there's work and total boredom. My lack of friends and total loserness means I will be spending the summer on my own either being pestered to tidy up or watching tv. How crap is that?
Despite how crap this summer is going to be, I don't want it to end, because once it ends I'm in some serious trouble.
In September I will be 18. An adult, my childhood will be over and I am not ready. I have spent years waiting for this time wanting to be older, wanting to be out there in the real world. Now it is here I want to stay a child forever. I can still clearly remember my first day at high school; even that began in the most loserish way possible. But it doesn't seem like five minutes has gone by and thats when I realise I'm not ready. I'm not ready to be an adult, I believe there are certain things you need to have done before you can become an adult;
1. Had a best friend you've told everything to
2. Lied to your parents so you can stay out all night
3. At least 2nd base
4. Had a part time job
5. Been in love and been broken hearted
I'm not going to reveal how many of these I can tick off my list but its not enough. I feel like a child even though I am old in my year. I can't handle responsibility and I'm am extremely lazy. To the point where its self-deprevating. Sometimes when I feel really depressed I think to myself it would all be okay if I was pretty, or if I was skinny, or if I was a really cool person, if I could handle copious amounts of alcohol or was extremely talented at music or art. But I'm not any of those things and I never will be. At other times I look at myself and I think what the hell is she complaining about?? There are people who are starving, people who are too afraid to be themselves because they may get killed. In real terms what the hell have I got to complain about. See I'm even self-pitying. What a crap person I am.